William Morrow Press
288 Pages
Sometimes I pick up books from the library that fall outside of my typical comfort zone. I always think it’s important to broaden your horizons when you’re reading so you don’t get stuck in the same old, same old all the time. And who knows? Maybe I’ll stumble upon a new author that I really like. When I saw The Marriage Sabbatical on the New Release Shelf at the Lockport Public Library, I read the summary and felt that, while it isn’t really my forte, I might have to give it a shot. It said it was fun and adventurous. I like fun and adventure.
What if you could take a vacation from your marriage? This isn’t the old (terrible) adage about being outside your area code. This is a break, where you both want to remain married, but you want to try dating other people. You’re away from your spouse for this time period, so it’s not like an open marriage where you’re dating but come home to your spouse at the end of the date. That’s what this book explores, in novel form, for good or bad.
Jason and Nicole have been married for a while. The kids are off doing their things, and now Jason wants to do a South American motorcycle tour to commemorate his recently deceased best friend. The plan is for Jason and Nicole to go together, renting their house out for a year while they’re gone. After a visit for dinner at the new neighbor’s house, they learn about the “500-Mile Rule.” While initially they dismiss the idea as absurd, Nicole comes to the realization that she really doesn’t want to go on the trip to South America. She’d rather go to Arizona and take an art class. At the same time, to sell not going on the motorcycle trip, she offers to implement the “500-Mile Rule” as an incentive for Jason to let her give up her place on his trip. He reluctantly agrees after several days. He will go to South America. She will go to Arizona. And the “500-Mile Rule” is in full play.
What ensues is separate vacations with serious emotional tolls on both parties. The raw emotion written by Lian Dolan is palpable. There are points throughout the novel that I simultaneously love, hate, and even despise all the characters in this book. The struggle that each of them go through as they navigate their new realities is heartwarming and heartbreaking. In the end, while the heat of the moment emotions dictated some of their short term ideals, it was the long, long building comfort of love and caring that win the day.
I wanted to not like this book because of the subject, especially after I learned the circumstances of how the rule effectively was implemented. I hated the very concept to begin with, but the casual disregard that Nicole approached it with because she didn’t want to go on the trip just aggravated me. Nicole and Jason were in a lull in their relationship, but both refused to acknowledge it. They felt that this might give them the spark they needed. What was missing was communication, which is key in every relationship. Instead of talking about their feelings, they could end up throwing it all away over a momentary thrill.
But I did like this book. Why? Because it explores the human condition. What makes people do the things that they do? What’s going through their heads as they make those decisions? And how do they feel afterwards? This book answers those questions. Dolan gets deep inside the heads of both Jason and Nicole and walks us through their decision making processes. Regardless of how their actions made me feel, capturing that emotional rollercoaster for two different people takes real talent. Lian Dolan succeeds on many levels. The characters are real. The situations are real. The emotions are real. Add in that she writes with an easy prose, and you have a book that will grab your attention until the very end.
If you read The Marriage Sabbatical by Lian Dolan, be prepared to love it and hate it on every level. These conflicting feelings will keep you busy reading until you reach the end, surprising yourself that you’re already done.
Craig Bacon doesn’t like the idea of a marriage sabbatical, 500 miles or otherwise. After three decades together, his wife still excites him in new ways each and every day.