Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Howie Balaban: Earth 2059

Twice in my career, when I was fortunate enough to be working full time, I took a famous song (Pinball Wizard) and a popular song (Let It Go) and rewrote them for something that fit a current event of that particular week or month. I'm going to try to do it again here.

For reference, I am from the NYC metro area. I spent the first few years of my life on Long Island. It is therefore required that I rank Billy Joel music highly on any list. It helps that the music is great and I don't have to defend such tastes to too many people.
In this particular instance, I have chosen to rewrite one of my all time favorite Joel tunes, Miami 2017. The song, written in 1975, tells of a rather bleak looking New York City (and other American locations) 42 years in the future. Well, given the current state of the world, I decided to set things to music again. This ditty is, in the end, optimistic, like me. After all, I greet every September with the belief that Syracuse can reach a bowl game.
Onto the song!

Seen the world go down the tu-ubes
Then saw it spring back up again
And life continued on as always
We learned our lessons
Before it was too late

They held a conference out in Russia
When it all started to go nuts
Dems blamed the G O P
"Shoulda been Hillary!"
But neither party cared for us

I've seen the world go down tu-ubes
Then saw it spring back up again
North Korea strutting like a fool
In the end Kimmy, was just a spineless tool

Half the Middle East was ruined
Due to various ancient claims
Carnage was everywhere
Earth's people seemed to care
Yet no one dared to intervene

I've seen the world go down the tu-ubes
Saw the mighty cities almost fall
Social media was the cause of it
Because we got our news
From memes that weren't true

There were some who blamed the snowflakes
"Too many damn millenials!"
They blamed the boomers, too
"My god, what did you do?!"
In the end everyone was screwed!

You know the world was once a strange place
That wasn't all that long ago.
It was in the early twenty-hundreds
Before the USA took the 2-party system away
There were many who despised that
Yet it worked out for the best
Turned out we weren't rubes
Pulled ourselves from the tubes

And helped a bright future arrive

Howie Balaban is a stay at home dad who loves Billy Joel and Hanson. Be glad he didn't try to write new lyrics to "MMMBop." You'd never get that tune out of your head all day.