Wednesday, March 16, 2016

BREAKING NEWS! Leprechauns Spotted in Lockport

According to sources, leprechauns were spotted in the greater Lockport area shortly after dusk this evening. Lockport Leprechaun Liaison Officer, Patrick O’Malley said, “we’ve received numerous calls at headquarters this evening concerning the sighting of the mysterious creatures all across the city.”

Residents are urged to not approach the creatures. Instead, a trap should be used, such as the ones being constructed by the four Bacon sisters of Walnut Street.  “Last year we didn’t trap the leprechaun, but he did spring our trap and leave behind silver and gold wrapped chocolates,” one of the sisters explained. “We’re going to set up a video camera this year,” added the youngest sister.

The Bacon sisters are preparing a "home"
any visiting leprechauns in hopes of
trapping one.
Various schools in the area spent a part of the day preparing for the arrival of the mystical, Irish beings. “Lockport is well prepared for when they show up,” an unnamed source remarked.
O’Malley urges caution when checking traps in the morning. “Leprechauns are old and wise people who will use their wiles to escape the clutches of traps. All that you’re left with is gold covered chocolate rather than a pot of gold. It’s extremely difficult to get them to part with their gold.” He adds that residents should simply pretend the small men are not really there, and not call the hotline.

Craig Bacon contributed to this report, and wishes you all a happy St. Patrick's Day.